How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Randomize
