So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
