i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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