He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
