Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Say something about gay babies.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
