I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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