it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
