So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
