I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
