You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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