Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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