The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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