i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize