Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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