My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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