Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
