five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
