I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
