Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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