i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
