remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
