Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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