Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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