I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I lost the right to judge tonight
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
