Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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