Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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