His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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