i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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