Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
