why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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