a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
