I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
