This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize