Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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