i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
