we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize