The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
