I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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