Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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