Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I FOUND THE LEGS
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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