why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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