if i can run in heels then i can drive
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
