I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I smell like Dick and happiness
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
