Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
