belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
