Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
BRING THE BAGELS
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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