She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
