Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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