He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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