Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Rumble strips road head = magical
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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