I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
