i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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