Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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