Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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