A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
