Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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