its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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