What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
