wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
