Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
