You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
