well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
