Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
