There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
