At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
