I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
