the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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