don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
