I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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