Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
