It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
