I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
