Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
